For instance, instead of feeling obligated to stay in an unhealthy relationship, you can trust yourself to make a different choice. There are many gifts that come when you're willing to say goodbye. The biggest lesson was that by letting myself fully grieve, I came out on the other side feeling whole. Though I said everything I needed to say to him, closure took years because I was fought the loss. I went through this when my dad was dying of cancer. This can be done by writing in a journal first, then deciding what if anything you need to say to the other person.Īcknowledge what the relationship means to you.Įxpress gratitude for what they gave to you. Here are some steps to help you in saying goodbye. If you feel stuck or find that you aren’t coping well, counseling can provide the emotional support to grieve and understand what happened. Most people don’t let themselves grieve because saying goodbye isn’t valued in our culture. Expressing all of the hurt helps us to reach acceptance. If the person is deceased or unreachable, write a letter. Feeling the hurt and the sadness is what helps you heal. It gives you the chance to acknowledge the good parts of the relationship and move on. Saying goodbye isn’t an easy decision but sometimes it’s the healthier choice especially when there has been abuse or neglect. When a relationship stops working, do you keep trying or do you stay for the sake of the other person? To consciously leave a relationship means embracing the power of choice. It's tough to stay grounded when you're trying to fill the void with someone new. Many people might find themselves getting into another relationship quickly because they can't handle the loss. Not having closure creates unfinished emotions that can spill into the next relationship. Staying in bad relationships because you don't want to rock the boat or be alone has its price. The fear of being alone keeps us in relationships that don't work. Instead, the relationship gets increasingly distant until someone eventually has to leave.Ĭlosure is being able to accept that a relationship is or has ended. This process can take years depending on how long you were involved. But when we do it this way, both people feel the distance. You might hope that the person will get the hint without having to say the words. When ending a relationship is considered failure you’ll probably avoid doing it. So once we grow up, we have no clue! Avoiding Goodbyes Has Its Price It's an important life lesson but most families don't help their children learn how and when to say goodbye. The truth is that relationships often end. Those primary family relationships create a template for future relationships. They just stopped coming around.įamily is where we learn how to do relationships first. Growing up I never saw adult relationships end. I used to avoid goodbyes because they were too painful so I stayed until the bitter end. This blog talks about practicing the importance of saying goodbye and how it can transform your relationships. The fear of saying goodbye can keep you from making the healthier choice. But, if you can’t say goodbye, you don't have the choice to leave or stay. I was floored. I used to think staying in a relationship no matter what was a strength.
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